The Sunscreen Song

Jun 20, 1999

EVERYBODY'S Free (To Wear Sunscreen) is performed by Lee Perry and Quindon Tarver and produced by Baz Luhrmann and Anton Monsted.

Sounding a lot like an update of the early 70's Les Crane advice for the hippie generation hit, Desiderata, The Sunscreen Song, as it is known popularly, is a New Age blend of spoken advice set against trip-hop music.

The 675 words, penned by the Chicago Tribune's Mary Schmich, first appeared in her column on June 1, 1997.

It was circulated on the Internet as e-mail, but identified wrongly as a graduation speech which author Kurt Vonnegut had supposedly given at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

In late 1997, the e-mail reached Luhrmann and he acquired audio rights for the words. He hired Australian voice actor Lee Perry to bring them to life, and produced the song.

After a year, the pop-soliloquy is now seeing the light of the day as one of the most-requested songs on air. Here are the lyrics:

“Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97…

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, 
sunscreen would be it.
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists,
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable 
than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty 
of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, 
you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way 
you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you
and how fabulous you really looked.
You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. 
Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying 
to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things 
that never crossed your worried mind, 
the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts.
Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind.
The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what 
you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 
what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. 
You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t.
Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t.
Maybe you’ll divorce at 40.
Maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken 
on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, 
or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body.
Use it every way you can. 
Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it.
It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance.

Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. 
They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. 
You never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past 
and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, 
but with a precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, 
because the older you get, the more you need the people 
who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths:
Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old.
And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, 
prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, 
and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund. 
Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. 
But you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair 
or by the time you’re 40 
it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, 
but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia. 
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the
past from the disposal, wiping it off, 
painting over the ugly parts and recycling it 
for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.”

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